Cason has been sleeping for a good two hours and of course I used that time to clean instead of sleep… ugh. I always do that to myself. He falls asleep and I start the dishes because I cannot stand dirty dishes in the sink… which leads to cleaning the whole kitchen… which leads to the living room… laundry… etc. And I just can’t stop moving until my house somewhat resembles normal again. Even though it’ll be a disaster again tomorrow. I really hate clutter but I’m going to have to start being more accepting of a semi-messy house regularly if I ever want to sleep decently again. It’s just really hard for me to relax at all if there’s cleaning to be done. I know I should give myself a break. I work two jobs now, go to school full time, and have two children (three counting Joel. lol) so like. How the hell do I do all that with only 24 hours in a day and still expect to have time to study, cook, clean, and most importantly be a present mom for my kids?? It’s fine. In like 5 years things will be so different. The kids will be 5 and 8 and not so needy anymore, and I’ll be done with school. But til then I may or may not lose my mind. πŸ˜„πŸ˜…πŸ˜ͺ

My dad took Alaska to dance tonight for me because I’m miserably sick. My fever is 102 and I have a relentless three day headache. I have an hour while she’s gone… I reeeeally need to go to the store while I only have one child, but I also have the overwhelming urge to just sleep these chills off. Ugh. The dilemma.